I’m sure you must have had the saying; courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to act and move on despite the fear.
There is no single individual who lives and has no fear; it is in the nature of man to fear: fear of the unknown, fear of consequences, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of losing it all, fear of success, and any other kind of fear you can think of. But while some people allow their fears to stop them from taking action and moving forward; others use their fear as a spring board to propel them towards their goals and dreams. And this you must learn to do.
It is proven that humans are born with only two kinds of fear: the fear of falling and the fear of a loud sound. Every other fear is learned. And fortunately, anything learned can be unlearned or at least curtailed.
So, how do you deal with fear?
First, you must face your fear.
Think of whatever it is that causes you fear and do that very thing. I used to be afraid of being alone in the dark; it was so terrible I would be sweat-soaked. What did I do? I would stay alone in a dark room, close my eyes and wait for whatever was coming to get me. It wasn’t as easy as I write it, but after a while, I had to come to the truthful conclusion that there was nothing in the dark but my imagination. I won that battle and became liberated. If it’s a person or object that you can’t face, get around that person or thing constantly; with time, you will see that familiarity will ease the fear. We fear what we don’t know, so get to know enough about what you fear and you will lose your terror of it. Do that thing or be around that person as much as possible.
Then, reason and talk to yourself.
Honestly, most of our fear is borne out of ignorance and … silliness. Yes, silliness. The cause of the fear could be traced to an earlier experience but we are past that now and should not be held down by our past. Reasoning well enough can either lead you to the cause of the fear – which will help you to deal with it – or just lead you to realize you have nothing to fear really.
Finally, think of the consequences of fear.
Ask yourself, if you could just act without fear, how many wonderful things would you have achieved in life, and how many can you go on to achieve? The reason most people refused to follow their hearts, pursue their dreams and also quit without much effort is not because of the challenges but fear. So, consider the pain you are going through and will go through if you fail to act; then consider the pleasures and happiness that taking action will give to you, and let this propel you into action. Always hold this truth in your heart: fear is a thief of opportunities, it cannot be allowed to stay. Push fear out; let courage come in. As Les Brown says in one of his speeches: “you can have fears, but don’t surrender, don’t let your fears have you.”
As you march through life, learn to conquer your fear. Live confidently as if all is under your control; because it is. You need confidence to win in life. And as I stated at the start; confidence is nothing more than the ability to march on in the midst of fears and challenges. Go on and live your life – confidently!