I promised in the first part of this post to introduce to you the one and only person who has the power, necessary training, skills, and ultimate authority to eliminate your fears and give you permission to live life on your own terms. Say welcome to your greatest friend and helper:
You! You are the greatest friend and helper that life has prepared for you. You can travel far and near, search north to south and opposite ends – you won’t find a trusted friend to share your troubles and lighten your burdens like yourself. Unfortunately though, a lot of people don’t know this fact; they are always looking for people to help them; they seldom look to themselves in their quest to move their life forward. (An example of this was a friend of mine in the university who asked for my help in studying. I obliged him eagerly, but once I started, I realized this guy didn’t need my help. Before I’d be through explaining the first point, he was already dozing off; probably because he was tired from partying all night and whatever, but more importantly, because he had little interest in learning. All that this guy needed was to tell himself the truth, change his mindset from one which wants something of value (university degree and certificate) for nothing to one which is willing to pay the price (studying) in order to get what he wants, create little time for his studies and he would soon realize that he was after all academically capable. He didn’t need me or anyone; he needed himself.)
But more unfortunate is the fact that many people have turned out to become their own worst enemy. They stand in their way to success, even going as far as sabotaging opportunities for success that come their way. And don’t blame that guy yet – he could well be you.
This is what happens when a person allows fear to hinder their progress in life – you become your own enemy. You become the reason why you are not moving forward – the reason why you cannot meet the basic needs (relationship, financial, spiritual, etc) of you and your family.
What am I saying? That there are no real challenges in life? That society is not messed up and success is easy to come by? NO! I’m not saying that at all.
I know that life is messed up pretty bad. I know that many times people try but their efforts are ruined by life’s unforeseen challenges. I know that life is not fair.
What I’m saying is that you – not life, or any other person or circumstance – can decide how you react to life’s problems. You can choose to let the troubles of life weigh you down and bury you in mediocrity, complacency, complaining and being contented with the status quo; or you can choose to rise far above the rubble of misfortunes and uncertainties and shoot for the skies.
Maybe you should try to honestly answer the following questions:
- When the light of morning begins to show, who tells you to wake up and prepare for the day or to roll on your side and go back to sleep?
- Alone in your car, who tells you to drive safely or to press down on the accelerator like you own the road?
- Who puts a drink in your hand before you drive and puts the handset to your ear while driving?
- Who makes you spend all your earnings like you own tomorrow?
- Who decides where you go or don’t go; who you hang around or not; what you read or not; what you listen to and watch or not?
- If you believe in God, who makes you pray in the morning or who waves prayer away even when your heart yearns for one so desperately?
- WHO TELLS YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE?
You got it – YOU!
And just as you decide everyday what you will do, so also you have to decide daily to follow your heart and chase your dreams despite the stinging voice of fear. You need to prepare to meet fear headlong and go through it.
Fear is not just that ‘down, uneasy’ feeling in your gut. Fear is the voices of friends saying you can’t do it; the voices of loved ones begging you to be careful. It is the faces mocking and laughing; the stories of those who have tried and failed; the news on television that give you nightmares.
But then there is the prompting in your heart and soul to go for it. There is the gentle pat of a friend on your shoulder saying you can do it. Stories abound of men and women who have achieved great things – ordinary humans like you. There are books and other resources that show you how to go about it. And there are faces looking with eagerness for you to succeed, so they can follow your lead. There is the gentle voice of God sweeping through the universe, saying to you ‘all things are possible to him that believes.’
There is the negative and the positive – you choose which you will believe and act upon. You choose! You!
To overcome fear and march toward your dreams and goals in life, you only need you to decide. Once you decide, nothing can stop you.
Adolf Hitler as a boy reportedly said to his mother: “One day I am going to rule the world.” He would say this as he stepped on and destroyed other boys’ sand castles. And history recorded that he became this, because there was a time during the war that he started, when he was to make an announcement and the whole world listened to hear what he would say.
John D. Rockefeller as a boy promised his mother that he would gather all the money in the world and distribute it evenly among the people. And, not only did he become the world’s first billionaire in 1916, but by the time of his death in 1937, he had given a total of $530,853,632 in charity.
Talk of the power of personal decision. Two different people; two different destinies; but one universal force of success: personal decision – to ignore fear and chase after one’s dreams.
Truth be told, you will need people’s help to get to where you are going in life. But the most important person that you need is you and the greatest help you will need is yourself. This is a truth you will have to accept and live with.
But how do you help yourself to overcome fear? What must be done?
I am going to be giving you a 3-step strategy to permanently deal with fear. But this is going to be in the final part to this post. So, please check back or better still, subscribe.